Later, on the day I found out I was pregnant, I was on FB and saw a post a friend had shared. It was a bible verse: Isaiah 43: 16-19. For some reason it caught my attention and I read it. It has not left my mind since, and I just had to share it TONIGHT after my mini-meltdown.
== SIDE SHOUT OUT TO MY DH/SOLID ROCK/AMAZINESS: Of all the people in the world who love me and support me unconditionally, my husband is the one I spend the most time with. Not only is he my best friend, my comic release, and my solid emotional rock, but he’s also my shoulder to cry on, and my escape from all things difficult ==
I had a difficult day feeling sick, tired, having cramps (which at some point will be the principle topic of one of my posts – really?! Do they have to be present like the whole time so that you’re constantly worried that something will go wrong? Or are they just there to remind you to pray and stay present in Faith every evening of this incredible experience?)…so the day-in-bed turned into night and for some reason I got weak-minded right about 20-mins ago (maybe that’s what happens after 8 episodes of ANTM – you just crack yeah?) I just couldn’t stop crying, it was like my eyes were open faucets and my heart was sunk into that deep hole I so avidly try to avoid. As I write this post I’m luckily out – writing it all out is part of the OUT OUT OUT; i’m climbing out, crawling out, hiking out, flying out…because the last thing my little poppyseed needs is for mommy to be scared. It’s either LOVE or FEAR, that’s it. I prefer LOVE. And yes, although I have the fear of going through another MC, the JOY, EXCITEMENT, DESIRE, HOPE, and LOVE that is in my heart right now, far outweighs that fear.
So, after a much needed fluid release from my body (which on the flip-side might have helped my water retention) I came back to Isaiah, to remember that THIS IS NEW (again) and the old has passed, and what has begun in the corners of my insides is for good and here to stay, because five-months later the miracle of life is here again, the waters have parted, and somehow baby Kim is making his way through the wilderness.
This is what the Lord says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,
17 who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:
18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland. (TNIV)
(OK, 10:01pm time for bed)
Pic from: SpiritualInspiration.Tumblr.com